Wow! What a week for our children who attended the TAPS/USO Good Grief Camp Out in Southern California sponsored in part by generous grants from Northrup Grumman! They were greeted to a surprise visit by the Vice President and Dr. Jill Biden. Each child had the opportunity to personally meet the Vice President and share with him about their loved one they were at the camp to honor. In addition, each child of the camp was paired one: one with a military mentor, many of who were Marines from Camp Pendleton. Throughout the 3 day, 2 night camp, our TAPS children participated in many activities which focused on helping them gain skills to cope with the tragedy they are experiencing, as well as meet other children who they can relate too. The friendships created and the smiles on our TAPS children's faces throughout the camp speak volumes of the impact this experience made in their young lives!

Also this week, TAPS was invited to participate in an exclusive meeting at the Pentagon with leading military organizations to discuss issues of critical importance and offer insights gained from our survivors.  Secretary Hagel met with the group, and expressed his appreciation for the work being done by TAPS to care for the families of our nation's fallen heroes.  Bonnie Carroll, TAPS Founder and President, spoke about the importance of engaging peers in providing support as TAPS successfully does, benchmarking the success TAPS has in establishing a public-private partnership between the military and a nonprofit. During the meeting, she also emphasized the importance of listening to our suicide survivors for insights that can now inform suicide prevention efforts.

In addition to our briefing with Secretary Hagel, Kim Ruocco, TAPS National Director of Suicide Prevention and Outreach, gave abriefing to the DSPO (Department of Defense Suicide Prevention Office) on themes and trends we are hearing from our families. Each month Kim speaks at these briefings to continue to bring awareness and attention to others about suicide, its impact on our surviving families, and prevention.

Each day our TAPS family expands and we are there to provide compassion, support, and a listening ear for those who reach out to us - many of which call us through our helpline. We are excited to announce that the TAPS National Military Survivor Helpline will be moving into our national headquarters this summer, and we are recruiting three new employees to join our team, as Front Line Responders. If you have the talent, commitment for our fellow TAPS family, and dedication of excellence we encourage you check out our careers section of our website for more information.

The past week has been very memorable, indeed, and we look forward to what our upcoming week will bring! On June 21-22, in Denver, CO we have our annual TAPS Colorado Classic Celebrity Golf Tournament. In addition, on June 22, we welcome and will cheer on our TAPS Run and Remember Team to Seattle, WA for the Seattle Rock and Roll Marathon as many of our TAPS family and battle buddies will be running in honor of their hero!

Finally, we would like to announce that registration for our Annual National Military Suicide Survivor and Good Grief Camp will open on Tuesday, June 25th. Be sure to mark your calendars!

We send our thoughts to you, our TAPS family, and share that we are always here for you. If you ever need to talk or have questions about upcoming events, we welcome you to call us, day or night at 1-800-959-8277. Sending much support and care for the week ahead!

My name is Bob Bagosy, I've been asked to write a monthly blog for TAPS from a man's point of view if you will! I'm just a Dad not a professional writer so what I write will be from my heart.

On Monday May 10, 2010 the day after Mother's Day around 1:00 PM on a clear, blue, spring afternoon on board Camp Lejeune, my son Sgt. Thomas R Bagosy USMC a career Marine age 25, married father of two children completed suicide in front of God and witnesses. Tommy as I called him had been deployed 3 times since 2005, once to Okinawa, once to Iraq 2006-2007, and Afghanistan 2009. He was awarded two Combat Action ribbons as well as the usual medals and awards befitting a Combat veteran, and 6 year Marine.

Tommy came home from Iraq in 2007 after being involved in at least 6 ied explosions. Tommy self-reported his medical problems on his return and was evaluated by the Naval Deployment center as having a TBI as well as PTSD given medication and 15 minutes of face time with a Physiologist, and sent back to work. Tommy received treatment and medication until March 2008 at which time he stopped medication and visit's to the Physiologist. Tommy called me in March 2008 and told me he had reenlisted for another 4 years, when I asked why? He told me he hasn't done enough that he was working with Marines who had more deployments, and he felt that he was running out on his friends. When I asked about his TBI and PTSD he told me that it was as good as it was going to get! Tommy then told me he had shipped over to MARSOC and my heart skipped a beat but I was very proud of his decision, and felt that he would be off better with other career Marines who had also been there and done that the best of the best, and that he would be safe with such warriors.

Tommy shipped out to Afghanistan in June 2009 but before he went I visited him at Camp Lejeune, NC. While traveling with Tommy he introduced me to a group of Marine's. I asked who they were, Tommy told me they were his guys! I remember saying to myself, Tommy has Guys?  Can't be he is only 17, you see we all have a tendency to think of our children as a certain age, with Tommy I always thought of him as the rebellious 17 years old.

To think that he was now 24, a Sergeant of Marines with men reporting to him as well as responsibility for millions of dollars' worth of equipment was foreign to me, his father. At that moment I realized what a man my son had become, responsible, brave, and honorable I was very proud of the man and Marine he had become.

Tommy served his Country well in Afghanistan according to the Marines who honored him at his memorial service at Camp Lejeune. The Marines spoke told of a Marine who knew his job and also knew how to fight. I found out later by reading his service record that his team while on patrol were ambushed by insurgents they were outnumbered, and were told to pull back. Tommy and another Marine drove back into the kill zone to check on down allies, and to pull another vehicle full of equipment back out of the ambush, both were awarded combat action ribbons for their heroic action.

We buried Tommy at Arlington National cemetery on July 6, 2010 a very hot and humid day in Washington, DC. I remember thinking that I must not cry after all men don't cry especially a man who had been a Marine, a police officer for 30 years, and a father of 5 children. I was able to keep it together and not cry during the funeral, and after we retuned.

In October 2010 while at home by myself I found myself crying like a baby for several days,  and was embarrassed, angry, and alone with my memories of my brave Marine.  Today I still cry but not as much and not as long, and I am no longer embarrassed, angry or alone. It will be 3 years since Tommy took his life, on May 10, 2013. I miss my son every day and always will!

What a wonderful day! On Friday, Vice President Biden and Dr. Jill Biden visited the USO/TAPS Good Grief Campout at Camp Pendleton. They had ice cream with the children and teens, and learned about their fallen heroes. The camp is supported by the Northrop Grumman Corporation. The three-day, two-night USO/TAPS Good Grief Camp Out experience is filled with traditional and fun camp activities combined with grief education and emotional support. 

While at Camp Pendleton with the children, the Bidens were also able to meet the Good Grief Camp mentors, active duty military service members, who volunteer their time to companion a child who is grieving. The mentors provide an important link back to the military for grieving children, who may wonder what it was like for their loved one to serve in the Armed Forces.

This is not the first TAPS event that the Bidens have attended. Vice President Biden and Dr. Biden spoke to hundreds of surviving families of fallen service members when they attended the TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp near Washington, DC over Memorial Day weekend in 2012. His remarks for the adults in 2012 remain one of the most watched videos on the TAPS YouTube channel.

Thank you to the Vice President and the Second Lady for joining us! More USO/TAPS Good Grief Campouts and other survivor activities are scheduled this summer. 

The message from last week asked survivors to write a paragraph with an example from their loved one's life that guides them today. Several people replied with their thoughts and gave examples of how they are striving to honor the personality traits of their loved one and continue their loved one's service to others. From gathering together to tell stories to working on projects, the celebration of our loved one's existence is important to our healing. This is not an easy thing to do and it takes time to find what is best for you, but perhaps some of these stories will inspire you to try something and then send me an email at carol.lane@taps.org to tell me about it and we will share it in a later Saturday morning message.

This Sunday is Fathers' Day which can be another hard holiday for survivors. All throughout the year there are holidays and also days that are special just to the survivor like anniversary dates. When people are grieving, often there are periods of anxiety or "blue" times that happen especially around dates that are special for us. They can be overwhelming. Often the strategies that we find to offer relief during grief continue to help us when stress comes at us throughout life. For next week's message, let us share some of the approaches you have used that have helped when these special days come into your life. Sharing these ideas help all of us as we walk together.

I look forward to reading your responses and posting them for the group next week.

Hugs,

Carol

From Tammie, surviving mother of Gregory:  I will never forget when Hurricane Ike hit the Texas Coast. It created so much devastation. Galveston, Texas was the worst hit. Greg went down to Galveston to help the people there in any way he could. He prayed for some and helped clean up.  He had tears in his eyes from looking at so much disaster and the people lost in this storm. This was the great hero that Gregory was. This brings tears to my eyes thinking about how compassionate he was and the love he had for people.  The way the family celebrated Memorial Day and honored Gregory was that his 80 year old grandparents, sisters and I went to Gregory's resting place. We visited him and decorated his grave site with USA flags all around his headstone. We held hands and prayed and reflected on Greg's life and reminisced about how caring and loving a son, grandson, brother, and father he was! We took turns telling the most memorable times we all shared with him.

From Cyndi, surviving mother of Jerome: Though I miss that face every day, depending on my mood, I can smile a little when I look at his picture.  Jerry was a leader, yet he had such compassion for other people.

After I lost Jerry I needed to find a project that would keep his memory alive yet benefit someone every day.  I welcomed home a young Marine, James, in December of 2010 at the airport.  He had spent many months at Walter Reed. He had lost both of his legs, very high up. This boy had a smile from ear to ear and his strength and will to survive, touched me.  I called him and asked if he would like one of those hand crank cycles. He was so very thrilled and my project began.  I raised funds from the very generous people in our surrounding communities.  So James was the very first to get one of these bikes, in memory of my son.  Every time James rides his bike, my son also rides with the wind and sun on his face.  The latest presentation is going to be a big fundraiser with the money going to get more bikes as always in memory of a fallen military person. These boys have become a very important part of my healing-I give them something and the emotional, spiritual feeling I receive in return, makes me think of my son and smile. I am doing what my son did by helping others.

My life has changed, but there is a courage and strength that's inside me giving me a confidence, Jerry's confidence, that has me doing things I never could before like helping moms struggling with deployments, sharing stories with Gold Stars, welcoming home our returning children, sitting with moms of severely injured children helping them cope and realize just how blessed they are. Sometimes I have to dig real deep, but Jerry's right there helping me. He is looking down and smiling. That's the way he lived. I'm trying to do and live my life like him.

From Frank, surviving father of Joseph: Joe had the ability to forgive. He never saw the color of the skin of the people he befriended. He loved to laugh, and be outlandish. He wanted to be a friend, to all. He was not always perfect, but he had a caring heart.  I want to live like him, and mean it. Before I die, I hope to emulate Joe for one day and mean it with all my heart.

From Caryn, surviving mother of Nathan: One of my son, Nate's, favorite expressions was "No Worries" and he constantly said it to everyone, but especially to me! I've gone through a lot and it started when Nathan was just 3 months old and I was hit by a drunk driver. Many surgeries and many illnesses were to follow, including Lupus! So yeah, I worried. But Nate was always so laid back everyone believed in him, and he would always say, "Mom, you shouldn't worry so much. You know it always works itself out  ... No Worries Mom!" So that's how I try to live my life now, not worrying about things I can't change. And, of course, as usual, Nate is right, things always seem to work themselves out! No Worries! Peace!

From Kathi, surviving mother and Renee, surviving sister of Samuel: Sam was honest, brave, courageous, honorable, hardworking, and he was the most positive person I knew. He was encouraging, and he never spoke a harsh word about anyone.  I've never heard him gossip about anyone.  As a matter of fact, he never even engaged in gossip....He was the picture of a true Christian, because his role model in life was Jesus.  He was never judgmental or critical. He was loving, levelheaded, rational, and generous. Sam taught me how to be a better mother, a better Christian, and a more generous person.  When I used to try to engage him in gossip, he would politely decline. I now make an effort to decline as well. Sam was generous, particularly with the time he gave to others. So in an effort to honor him I am going to enlist my time with Toys for Tots. Sammy's unit was involved with Toys for Tots. They came to our aid at Christmas just 11 days after Sam was killed. It is a way to give back and say thanks, as well as to honor his memory.

The Saturday Morning Message (SMM) is a weekly communication; written and contributed to by survivors. The primary focus of the SMM is to foster peer based connection, survivors helping survivors, for support and encouragement along the grief journey. It is the goal of this communication to foster a safe, supportive atmosphere where we can openly share in a non-judgmental and caring manner. Read and contribute as you are comfortable, and explore any opinions/ideas shared that are most beneficial to you on your individual journey. Content submitted for inclusion in the SMM is edited for spacing considerations and grammatical corrections.

If you ever need to speak to someone regarding an urgent matter or just need a listening ear, the loving family at TAPS is available to you 24 hours a day. Please feel free to contact TAPS at 1-800-959-8277.

Thinking about grilling out for Father's Day or planning a BBQ this summer? Check out the Grill Sergeant from Gr8tailgate. The Grill Sergeant is a combination of Black Angus Hot Dogs, Italian Pork Sausages, Herb Marinated Chicken Breasts, and Black Angus Gourmet Smashed Burgers which serves up to 30 people! 

If you order the Grill Sergeant through Gr8tailgate, TAPS receives a $5 donation for every order! And even better, if you use the promo code GS7STBF, you get a 15% discount!

Check out the Gr8tailgate website to order your Grill Sergeant today!