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The death of a loved one who served in the military can turn your normal life upside down. Sometimes even your friends can’t understand what you are going through after the death of your loved one, because they haven’t been where you are. You may feel isolated, lonely or just plain sad. Grief is a normal response to loving someone and losing them, but it can hurt so much. And it may not just be you who is hurting. Other people in your life that you love may also be in pain, and you are not quite sure what to do or how to help them. Wherever you are at - you are not alone.

TAPS welcomes anyone who is grieving the death of someone who died while serving in the military - regardless of where they died or how they died. If you are hurting, we are here for you. We are so sorry for the loss of your loved one.

We know that military loss can feel very different, from other types of loss in your life. There is a public meaning often assigned to the death. You may have questions about the death, feelings you aren't sure how to process.

We began as a group of bereaved military families who lost their loved ones in a military plane crash in Alaska in 1992. Those families found comfort, connection and hope in talking with each other as they rebuilt their lives. After undertaking a two year study of support services available for bereaved military families, Bonnie Carroll founded TAPS in 1994 and modeled it on best practices found in peer-based support programs. We provide a safe and confidential program that supports people who are grieving.

You can connect with TAPS in one way or many ways:

  • Call us - if you would like to talk with someone on our survivor care team who can let you know about services and programs you might find helpful, or just need someone to talk to, please call us any time at 1.800.959.TAPS (8277). Our resource and information helpline is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
  • Sign up for a survivor resource kit and join our mailing list - we have a kit filled with resources and materials to help in coping with the death of your loved one. Sign up here. We can also add you to our mailing list so you'll start to receive the TAPS magazine each quarter.
  • Read articles about grief and loss in the TAPS magazine. Or visit our survivor care area online.
  • Get support through our online communities or real-time chats.
  • Request a peer mentor - this program connects you one-on-one with a caring person who has experienced a similar loss and has been trained in how to companion someone else who is grieving.
  • Connect with other survivors at a TAPS care group in your local community or request a customized list of grief support resources in your community.
  • Find out about bereavement counseling at a Vet Center or through another provider - our staff can help you set up the appointment if you like.
  • Meet other survivors at a TAPS event- see our event calendar.
  • Get questions answered - contact our casualty casework staff if you need help accessing benefits, want assistance requesting information, or don't know where to turn for answers in a difficult situation related to your loved one's death.

We are so sorry to get to know you, because we know you came here because you lost someone who died. But we are so glad you found us, and we are here for you. 

TAPS USO Good Grief Camp Out  
TAPS Event | TAPS Good Grief Camp for children and teens provides a safe and supportive atmosphere to conduct activities and opportunities to learn coping skills, establish and identify support systems and create awareness that they are not alone in the grief of their loved one.
Our Stories
Topic: General Grief
Crocker, CPT David R. Jr.
Reunion and Remembrance

TAPS Magazine | By the time I had been kissed by the eighth guy in line in front of me, my face carried the scent of a potpourri of aftershave lotions. This was not a typical reunion with family, old friends, or classmates. I hadn’t known any of these graying men, now in their sixties and seventies, until this mome.. More »

Girl with hands over face
Myths about Children and Grief

TAPS Magazine | Children are often shuttled off or ignored by adults who may be grieving themselves and do not have the energy, resources, or understanding necessary to help them. Society tends to pacify itself with the rationale that children are resilient and thus fails to recognize that children need as much com.. More »

Holding Hands
Mustering the Courage to Mourn

TAPS Magazine | Loss brings uninvited pain into our lives. In opening to the presence of the pain of your loss, in acknowledging the inevitability of the pain, in being willing to gently embrace the pain, you demonstrate the courage to honor the pain... More »

Crane, Janet and Specialist Jason Kyle Edens
Looking for Hope in all the Right Places

TAPS Magazine | I have always thought of myself as a strong person. In reality my strength had never really been tested until I experienced the losses of the last 13 years. I lost my dad in 2000, a half sister in 2004, another half sister in 2008, my mom in 2010, and my son in 2012. I have to say that I had handled.. More »

Hand Raised to Answer Question at 2013 National Seminar
Grief 101: Advice to New TAPS Survivors

TAPS Magazine | The Saturday Message is a letter that comes through email to TAPS parents, spouses, siblings, and friends. It includes thoughts from the survivors themselves. When one asks a question, the others are free to respond. Asked recently what advice they would give to a newly bereaved person, TAPS survivo.. More »

Book Cover - Seven Choices
Seven Choices: Finding daylight after loss shatters your world

TAPS Magazine | Early in my grief journey, I looked desperately for books or manuals or instructions-anything to help me get through each day-but bookstores didn't stock very many books about grief. I found this perplexing since death is universal and most of us will experience the loss of a loved one at some point.. More »

Beach with Dog
Processing Anger and Blame

TAPS Magazine | I recently had the interesting experience of participating in a Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) online chat on the subject of anger during the course of grief. The participants in the chat were family members of service men and women who died during their term of service. I was invit.. More »

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