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The death of a loved one who served in the military can turn your normal life upside down. Sometimes even your friends can’t understand what you are going through after the death of your loved one, because they haven’t been where you are. You may feel isolated, lonely or just plain sad. Grief is a normal response to loving someone and losing them, but it can hurt so much. And it may not just be you who is hurting. Other people in your life that you love may also be in pain, and you are not quite sure what to do or how to help them. Wherever you are at - you are not alone.

TAPS welcomes anyone who is grieving the death of someone who died while serving in the military - regardless of where they died or how they died. If you are hurting, we are here for you. We are so sorry for the loss of your loved one.

We know that military loss can feel very different, from other types of loss in your life. There is a public meaning often assigned to the death. You may have questions about the death, feelings you aren't sure how to process.

We began as a group of bereaved military families who lost their loved ones in a military plane crash in Alaska in 1992. Those families found comfort, connection and hope in talking with each other as they rebuilt their lives. After undertaking a two year study of support services available for bereaved military families, Bonnie Carroll founded TAPS in 1994 and modeled it on best practices found in peer-based support programs. We provide a safe and confidential program that supports people who are grieving.

You can connect with TAPS in one way or many ways:

  • Call us - if you would like to talk with someone on our survivor care team who can let you know about services and programs you might find helpful, or just need someone to talk to, please call us any time at 1.800.959.TAPS (8277). Our resource and information helpline is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
  • Sign up for a survivor resource kit and join our mailing list - we have a kit filled with resources and materials to help in coping with the death of your loved one. Sign up here. We can also add you to our mailing list so you'll start to receive the TAPS magazine each quarter.
  • Read articles about grief and loss in the TAPS magazine. Or visit our survivor care area online.
  • Get support through our online communities or real-time chats.
  • Request a peer mentor - this program connects you one-on-one with a caring person who has experienced a similar loss and has been trained in how to companion someone else who is grieving.
  • Connect with other survivors at a TAPS care group in your local community or request a customized list of grief support resources in your community.
  • Find out about bereavement counseling at a Vet Center or through another provider - our staff can help you set up the appointment if you like.
  • Meet other survivors at a TAPS event- see our event calendar.
  • Get questions answered - contact our casualty casework staff if you need help accessing benefits, want assistance requesting information, or don't know where to turn for answers in a difficult situation related to your loved one's death.

We are so sorry to get to know you, because we know you came here because you lost someone who died. But we are so glad you found us, and we are here for you. 

Our Stories
Topic: General Grief
Hiker Looking Up
Seek Reconciliation, Not Resolution

TAPS Magazine | How do you ever find your way out of the wilderness of your grief? You don’t have to dwell there forever, do you?.. More »

Checklist
Normal Isn’t Normal Anymore

TAPS Magazine | I used to believe, along with author Patsy Clairmont who wrote a humorous book of the same title, that Normal Is Just a Setting on Your Dryer. But it seems like so much more to me, now. When our son died, "normal" flew out the window and hasn't returned. And because of its departure, leaving confusi.. More »

Beach Pebbles
Messages of Love

TAPS Magazine | Over the years since my son’s death in 2004, I have received many messages and signs from him. Some have come in dreams, some through songs on the radio. Perhaps the most powerful have been the heart-shaped stones and shells washed up by the sea to remind me that love never dies... More »

2015 National Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp Giving Comfort
Lean on Me

TAPS Magazine | Experiencing the death of a loved one can challenge us in many ways as we learn to adapt to the loss in our lives. Although there are no right or wrong ways to grieve, getting support and taking care of yourself can help you deal with your feelings of loss... More »

Intentions Notes
Intention Setting

TAPS Magazine | The knock at the door came, and my world stopped. But within weeks I realized the world was still spinning for others. And they couldn't understand why mine wasn't. They wanted to know when my world would be in order again. They didn't realize that everything-including my priorities-had changed. I f.. More »

Dre
He Lives

TAPS Blog | Today on the TAPS Blog, surviving spouse Shanette Booker shares how she is the living legacy for her late husband. She writes, "No matter what I do, or where I go, I know he is right there with me, smiling and laughing, and watching over me. He lives with each breath I take and with each person who .. More »

The Dance
The Dance

TAPS Blog | Today on the TAPS Blog, surviving adult child Ashlynne Haycock shares how she connected to her mom on her fourth angelversary. She writes, "Signs from our loved ones come in all shapes and sizes, and this was the largest one I have ever received from my mom. It was her way of reminding me that she l.. More »

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