Contributions for 2013

Volume 19, Issue 4

The Poems of Sascha Wagner is a volume of poetry sold exclusively by The Compassionate Friends (TCF).

Here are some honest observations from TAPS survivors about coping with the holidays.

Joining hands and hearts across the globe to honor and remember the fallen was the essence of the first ever TAPS/Bereaved Families Support Group (BFSG) gathering.

There ought to be a law! There ought to be a law against snow and ice and winter.

The holiday season—with its inevitable reminders of the empty spaces in our families—is a good time to go back to the basics of what we know about grief.

Our Casework Advocates are available to speak to a number of topics to include questions about burial benefits, financial benefits, health care, and much more.

The truth is, there really is a magical quality about the holiday season. When you’re not grieving, that is.

Since October of 2000 when the first Run and Remember Team of two runners raised nearly $5,000, fundraising has been a part of the team’s efforts on behalf of TAPS.

As a bereaved person, you have certain rights that others must not take away from you. In fact, it is the very upholding of these rights that makes healing possible.

As I reflect on the eight months, six days, and fifteen hours since my son Brian’s death, it is confusing to figure out where I stand in this grief trip that I hate.

People who are grieving fear holidays. Holidays can be times when they have to face more than their wounded emotions can bear.

If you have special skills you’d like to put to good use, talk to us about ways you can help. We’d love to have you!

Just because someone had died, that doesn't mean I can’t keep his memory alive, or that I can’t keep honoring him the way I choose to.

I can't imagine what this world would be like without laughter in it! You will never hear someone say they felt worse after a good laugh.

On this day, over 200,000 wreaths will be placed on graves of fallen heroes across the country.

I stood facing down the monster of the holidays this year not knowing which way to turn.

Volunteers and families of the fallen teach each other how to honor their loved ones, cope with their loss, and celebrate the lives of their loved ones.

Tommy died of his invisible wounds on May 10, 2010 but he is always with us, especially every Marine Corps Birthday.

Survivors talked this week about ways to support those who are new to the path of grief.

So, I put on my best red puffy swollen tear soaked face and walked into the room. I joined my children in dance.

I have learnt throughout this journey that no one except another grieving military family can understand how I feel.

Gold Star Children is a documentary feature film that takes an intimate look at American children who've lost a parent to war.

From the moment the seminar started, I felt nothing but a family atmosphere. So much love and compassion was shared among us survivors.

Veteran's Day was created to honor the brave men and women, who have served their country, past and present-a National holiday, pretty straightforward.

Kim Ruocco, TAPS manager of suicide postvention and education programs, talks about suicide in the Armed Forces and how we can all help.

For myself and family, Veteran's Day is the day we lost our husband, father, son, brother and friend.

Every day I wear a black bracelet on my wrist with my husband's name on it. I never take it off.

Ted Leonsis discussed the inaugural Washington Wizards Courage Program, which launched November 8 when the team hosted the Brooklyn Nets.

Tommy started his last day on earth by kissing his kids and wife goodbye, telling them he loved them.

I hope that you find comfort in the other ways survivors have found to celebrate the lives of their loved ones as you read the suggestions.

A celebration of life is just as important as a commemoration of death.

Survivors share reflections on what to expect at TAPS seminars and retreats.

This year will mark Topher's 8th birthday and the 8th anniversary of Art's death.

I am releasing those things in my heart, choosing to give my heart to joy and happiness.

In honor of summer, the best time of childhood, here's a few memories of Jonathan.

I am stronger than I ever thought. My heart beats true and full, but I will never be the same girl Phil loved and knew well.

I know if we had it any other way we would wish we didn't know each other as no one wants to belong to this Father's Club.

There are certain things you should and should not say to a military widow. Here are some plain and simple guidelines from a surviving spouse.

Military widow Kim Ruocco shares how she felt after her military husband committed suicide and how civilian suicide support groups didn't help.

Survivor father, Andy Weiss tells how he discovered the TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and what it has meant to his family.

Volume 19, Issue 3

There are certain things you should and should not say to a military widow. Here are some plain and simple guidelines from a surviving spouse.

“Volunteering for TAPS is my way of saying thank you to the families and honoring the sacrifice their loved ones made serving our country,”

Life After the Death of My Son is refreshingly honest and presents an unvarnished account of Dennis’s grief journey, while offering hope, validation, and connection.

I am a man. I am a brother. I am a combat veteran. And I am a sibling survivor.

Love is a sacred partnership of communion with another human being. You take each other in, and even when you are apart, you are together.

Each time we reach out across our own pain to find another hand searching in the darkness, we begin to lighten our own darkness.

When we crossed the finish line, as Marines and thousands of spectators cheered, we couldn’t have felt better.

He was very ill, and our prayers were sincere as we asked God to please help him. Soon we would experience something that would challenge our faith.

We are saddened by the loss of life and injuries in a shooting incident at the U.S. Navy Yard in Washington D.C. yesterday.

TAPS, the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors, offers the following tips to help the surviving families of our fallen.

It is no surprise to say that there a gamut of emotions that go along with grief.

I communicate. It's what I do. Ironically, one of the highest hurdles I've had to cross is that of communication after.

I remember the sacrifice, both my brother's and mine. I remember your sacrifice too. Yes, yours. I remember the very person for whom you grieve.

I feel like I’m somehow betraying my brother’s memory by not being rip-roaring, chest-beating, sky-screaming bitter about his death.

August 19, 2011 technically was the day death did do us part, but I don’t think that physical death counts…the love between us still lives after August 19, 2011!

Remembering the light and not the darkness takes a long time to come into our lives after the death of a loved one.

Tommy's death shook me so much that to this day I sometimes have a hard time functioning in my day to day life.

Survivors share what they have done with special mementoes of their loved one.

"The mention of my child's name may bring tears to my eyes but it also brings music to my ears."

Three years? If it has really been three years, then why is it when I close my eyes I can still feel his arms around me and hear his voice?

This week is Jon's 35th birthday and the 10th anniversary of the day he died. Yes, all in the same week.

I went a whole year like that…not intentionally, but it happened. I avoided their loss. I couldn't believe it.

This week several survivors sent in their ideas on strategies that help them while grieving.

I have learned that on these difficult days I need to stop pulling away from my family and friends…for they are the ones that ultimately get me through.

The hawk first showed up on Thanksgiving Day 2010 at our house in Georgia, which was 6 months after Tommy’s death.

My son, SGT Cody Legg, continues to be my beacon. It never ceases to amaze me, the number of lives that were touched by my son.

TAPS is proud to announce that we are now a part of The President's Volunteer Service Award program.

To scramble them in any way would be awkward and somehow less meaningful.

Finding strategies that help deal with emotions that come around special holidays, birth or death dates of our loved ones can be difficult.

Coming from all the branches of service, these special runners count it a privilege and an honor to remember their fallen.

Volume 19, Issue 2

The bomb that ended my husband's life had come very close to shattering and completely destroying mine.

By the time I had been kissed by the eighth guy in line in front of me, my face carried the scent of a potpourri of aftershave lotions.

Children are often shuttled off or ignored by adults who may be grieving themselves and do not have the energy, resources, or understanding necessary to help them

In opening to the presence of the pain of your loss, in being willing to gently embrace the pain, you demonstrate the courage to honor the pain.

I have always thought of myself as a strong person. In reality my strength had never really been tested until I experienced the losses of the last 13 years.

Asked recently what advice they would give to a newly bereaved person, TAPS survivors responded with powerful and diverse answers.

"Is it normal to be angry at someone that you hold responsible for your loved one's death?"

I surprised myself by buying and actually reading a book with the word "choices" in the title. And not just one or two choices. Seven of them.

Honor’s First for Freedom is my full name, but most everyone calls me Belle. I’m a Golden Retriever, born on January 27, 2005, in Charlotte, North Carolina.

Thirteen years later, the TAPS Run and Remember Team runs or walks in events of all distances all across the country.

This 30-second public service announcement (PSA) informs viewers about the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS)

Children who attended the TAPS/USO Good Grief Camp Out in Southern California were greeted to a surprise visit by the Vice President and Dr. Jill Biden.

Tommy served his Country well in Afghanistan according to the Marines who honored him at his memorial service at Camp Lejeune.

My youngest graduated from the Air Force Academy recently. He was commissioned by his oldest brother and his youngest sister.

It was time I picked myself up, say a last and final goodbye to my comfort zones, and live the next days of my life smiling happily, and free.

The TAPS Good Grief Camp helps children and teens coping with the death of a parent or sibling who died while serving in the Armed Forces.

Survivor and veteran, Rachael Hill shares her journey to making Memorial Day about remembering those veterans who have given their lives.

Bonnie Carroll discusses the founding of TAPS to help those who have lost a loved one serving in the Armed Forces and her own journey as a widow.

Darcie SimsTAPS' own Darcie Sims has a new weekly podcast entitled Good Mourning: The Many Faces of Grief.

Don Lipstein, of West Chester, Pa., is featured today in a front-page New York Times story by Andrew Lehren and Jim Dao discussing suicide in the military.

This is not the life I chose, but I am choosing to make the best of it. I am content with where I am right now.

I probably always will with each new life transition, but I will treasure the gift of friendship I now have with Ben & Josh.

Survivors wrote this week about special places they shared with their loved ones.

Welcome to my journey: a world of choice and change that constantly collides with the desire to just curl up in a ball and hide while I cry.

Helping yourself when you are grieving may not seem like a priority. Survivors share strategies that have helped them take care of themselves.

I may not feel much like rejoicing, and I may not feel like I am in control of my life today, but I do know this: with faltering steps, I will stumble on.

Grieving the loss of a loved one takes a toll on our emotions, body, and mind. The most important thing we can do is to take care of ourselves as best we can.

TAPS brought together 60 special guests with CNN anchor and author Jake Tapper at a signing of Tapper’s book, The Outpost: An Untold Story of American Valor.

Through TAPS, I have met so many thoughtful, caring, “been there” people who have become like family. I look forward to this annual tradition of “coming home”.

This week several survivors wrote to tell about the dreams that they have had.

“Knowing what you know now, what would you offer to another person who has lost a loved one?”

Volume 19, Issue 1

One of the recurring themes of grief is the feeling of isolation, the sensation that we are alone in the world and that no one understands what we are going through.

Taking care of ourselves means different things to different people. It often includes a good counselor, exercise, and rest.

Eligible beneficiaries in the SGLI Program can now take advantage of two new online financial services that can help with financial planning and will creation.

The pain of loss is in direct correlation with the love we feel. The more we love, the more keenly we feel the absence of that which we love.

If we want to feel good again, feel joy again, feel part of the world again, we should strive to become intentional survivors and not hapless victims.

Have you ever had a moment? You know, a moment when time stood still and everything was as it should be—right and good and whole and wonderful.

Death has that ripple effect as well, setting off a disturbance that moves across time and space.

The Corporate Challenge program allows companies to pay tribute to the sacrifices made by our loved ones while creating awareness and raise funds.

I volunteered for the team with some reluctance, because I was initially focused on the race itself.

We are fortunate that we can allow ourselves and each other to continue to love and honor our late spouses and that we can share that with our combined five children.

A part of me died with my precious son. However, there are parts of me beginning to creep back into everyday life despite my resistance.

Marissa admits that the most challenging thing about volunteering is “finding the time to do it, making the extra effort to make it a part of your schedule.”

I took myself out of my comfort zone in so many ways and I succeeded by pushing myself to do something new and out of the norm.

When March 1 rolls around, I feel like every emotion within my being has been placed in a cup and shaken with an enthusiasm I no longer possess.

This week survivors shared a special ability or "knack" that made their loved one unique.

As I turn one more year older, I recognize that I have had one more year without my brother, one more year of healing, one more year to tell my story.

For my kids especially, I have realized that their grief is going to be an ever-evolving process.

Through the Saturday message we offer a safe and comfortable site to share and reach out across the miles to other survivors offering care and comfort.

It’s nearly Valentine’s Day, my friends. What does your heart remember?

Sleep. What do you do to get the rest that is needed while grieving?

I can smile at the new outlook on life that his life and death have given me.

This guide is meant to help military survivors take a deep breath and think through their financial options following their loved one's death.

It’s yet another year beginning without our loved ones...and yet another year ending without them.

I’ve decided one of my New Year’s Resolutions is to tackle these hurdles as best I can and make the most of what this new city has to offer.