Contributions for 2015

For those of us who have lost a service member, we have our own story about a journey, a star, and the blue that turned to gold.

Volume 21, Issue 4

Casey's interest to volunteer with TAPS was spurred by a speech delivered by Vice President Joe Biden during the TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar.

The teams4taps program celebrated its two-year anniversary in November setting in motion an exciting end-of-year schedule of team engagements.

As we approach the holidays, we brace ourselves with gratitude and learn to be thankful for the gaps and spaces because of who once filled them.

Even though the process did not occur in any prescribed order or in the way some say it should have, I felt I reached important milestones in my grief journey.

This group of dedicated current and former military understands that when we call our fallen heroes by name and honor their memories they are with us.

In this easy to read book, hospice chaplain and bereavement specialist Roe shares how you can move through the holidays with your loved one in a new way.

TAPS knows that strength for the journey is an important way we can help and inspire each other and launches a new TAPS Health & Wellness Initiative.

Traditions define families and communities. Children depend on them like they do the security of their favorite blanket.

Have you found joy? It is especially hard as the holiday season approaches, but occasionally I catch a glimpse.

Sometimes old holiday rituals are comforting after a death, sometimes they're not. Continue them if they feel good to you; consider creating new ones.

Whether you need to dig into the holidays or to completely disconnect from them, there’s no place that grief takes you that your #tapsfam doesn’t understand.

The new year provides a opportunity for us to be honest about the pain of our grief, and resolve in the months to come to do the necessary grief work.

My TAPS family helps me find my way to safe harbor by being the buoy that keeps me afloat in rough waters.

I embrace the spirit of hope that comes from my faith and from the life I have been given.

Getting off of the couch isn’t about exercise; it is about living life.

I appreciate the soothing nature of the flickering light of candles and their gentle glow during the shorter days of the holiday season.

Ever notice how holiday greetings begin with “happy”? Happy Thanksgiving! Happy Holidays! Even Fridays become Happy Friday!

Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors Offers Tips for the Holidays.

I am thankful that Phil taught me what it was to be loved well and how to love well.

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Had anyone told me I would be struggling with anxiety some days that almost swallows me whole in one gulp, I would not have believed it.

Phil never took for granted the freedoms afforded to him by the citizenship he received to our country a week shy of his 18th birthday.

Since my husband’s death in 2010, Veterans Day has always been my hardest holiday.

It may be just a game, but to many Americans like my father, football is part of your household, part of how you connect with your family and friends, and part of you.

I never understood the family bond of the Marines until I attended the ball with Dre and watched the history unfold before my eyes.

In October, executives at Charlotte Motor Speedwaycreated an extraordinary opportunity for a TAPS family at the Bank of America 500 race.

Through the TAPS Military Mentor Program, TAPS connects grieving military children with individual military mentors.

A decade. Ten very long years that have seemingly whizzed by on dragging feet since my brother left this earth.

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It’s that spook-tacular time of year, with all things creepy and frightening lurking in the shadows and lunging from television ads.

Of the many obstacles we face after the loss of a loved one is how to tackle those extra challenging hallmark calendar dates.

I was 10 years old the first and last time I asked my brother, Sam, if I could go on a run with him.

Responsibility can be an overwhelming thing, especially when you feel like it is all on you s a single parent.

I have found that being a mentor is a continuous learning process. I have forged symbiotic relationships and we help each other through good and bad times.

It's TAPS all the way. Hands down. No other group is like it. If you are a member or TAPS and have never attended an event...DO.

Running a marathon for some is a sport; for others a life accomplishment. Me? I run for Kyle.

Running for Dre was more than just a great workout or a sport, it was a way of life.

I had the great pleasure of representing TAPS at the Points of Light National Day of Service and Remembrance held at the Washington Monument.

This weekend with other military widows brought me clarity. It is the place where I could see how far I have come and where I need to dare myself to go.

No retreat, no surrender, and I have to trust at some point the way ahead will become clearer and more comfortable.

I was submerged in one of the Seven Wonders of the World with people who, without speaking, knew my heart and its pain.

We will see your smiling face again! You are close in our memories and forever embedded in our hearts! Forever and a day!

Gold Star Mother’s Day is recognized the last Sunday of the month of September. Each year I wear my pin to church as a remembrance of my son.

The moment I received the news that my son was dead by suicide I changed. That was the moment I reached down and stepped into my Fraud Suit.

I keep this paper zebra heart on the desktop with my son's flag case, photos, and medals. TAPS is the family I found when I lost my son.

Volume 21, Issue 3

Fortunately, hope is on the horizon with of the growing knowledge about grief and traumatic loss.

USAA joined TAPS in honoring families of the fallen by hosting USAA's annual Bowlathon in San Antonio, Texas.

The tenth anniversary of an event that celebrates and remembers the lives of our fallen heroes and their families is an important milestone.

How do you know when or if you are ready to explore romantic love again?

It wasn't a race to the top of Mount Kilimanjaro, but rather an exercise in continually putting one foot in front of the other on the six-day ascent.

TAPS is proud to announce our new book of comfort and care, written with love for all who are grieving a loss in the military.

Traveling the country to host Seminars, the TAPS team hears about the sense of freedom that comes from connecting with other people who understand.

The road to healing is far from over, but I now know I don't have to travel that road alone because of the love that was found in, of all places, Alaska.

My son devoted himself to his family and this world, beyond life and regret. And he forgave the man who was about to take his life.

I let my children know that grief and sadness are parts of life, and love and hugs are the lifesavers that will help us float and eventually swim.

TAPS provides a space solely for men to explore our great American landscape while navigating together the unique terrain that is a man's grief.

“If someone is on the phone with me and needs me for three hours, I will make myself available for three hours.”

My journey as a survivor of military suicide loss began July 18th, 2012, when our son Paul, a young 22-year old Petty Officer in the Coast Guard, took his own life.

And I realized that somewhere along this journey called “Grief” I have learned to be still and breathe.

It is going to hurt and I am going to want to quit, but I continue on because I simply cannot let terrorism have any more.

With every day that I live my life, I continually honor the memory of my loved one and in doing so, I am embracing all that I still do have to be grateful for.

There is great weight in the notion that there are only ever “days after 9/11.” There seems no way, in our lifetime at least, to ever go back to September 10th.

It is time to drop the stigma of mental health and suicide death and begin to change our society.

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In that choice to forgive, I am free to remember a man gone far too soon. I am free to enjoy living and not be consumed by my own negative judgments.

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As of the death of my husband, I became a soldier, single mother and military widow. Today, 34 years later, also a survivor!

It battered my physical body and bruised my heart. The oppressive heat of summer bore down relentless and pressing and left me aching for a simpler time.

I just stood there in silence, and in awe of these beautiful geese singing and talking to one another. I felt Vincent's energy in the air.

Thank you for being there for me in my darkest hours and in my brightest accomplishments.

It has now been five years since I watched you put on your boots, grab your coffee cup, and head off to work for the very last time.

In time, it is promised by those who have traveled this journey, there will be smiles again where tears were shed.

If I could tell them anything, it would be to say simply, "You are not alone. I too have shared your journey and am here to listen and walk yours now with you."

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Phil’s legacy of duty, honor, commitment, faith, life, and love did not end with the death of his physical body, but the legacy grows and shines through my work.

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I am so glad that I made that trip with him and had that special bonding time with my grandson.

I hope by encouraging others along our shared journey by volunteering with TAPS I've found a great way to honor my dad.

This Independence Day, America's Family wishes all of our fellow countrymen a happy and safe Fourth of July.

This book affirms that survivors’ grief is shaped by the unique circumstances of the death when a loved one is killed in the line of duty.

I am good at being the mute friend and the friend that never takes the risks, but I am learning that nothing ventured is nothing gained.

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I became more present in each day and when I did that, the excitement and enjoyment of life started to return…and so did that sparkle.

Participation in Blue Star Museums is one of our favorite ways to enjoy the summer season!

Volume 21, Issue 2

Her father's mantra was, “You can't just be good, you also have to do good.”

TAPS Retreats are designed to bring survivors out of their comfort zone. We get to see just how strong we are, after losing someone important in our lives.

How do you ever find your way out of the wilderness of your grief? You don't have to dwell there forever, do you?

When our son died, "normal" flew out the window and hasn't returned. And because of its departure, leaving confusion, chaos, and disarray in its wake.

Over the years since my son’s death in 2004, I have received many messages and signs from him.

One of the single most important factors in healing from loss is having support. Sharing your loss can make the burden of grief easier to carry.

How could I ever plan for a future without by brother here to motivate me in the tough moments and help me celebrate my victories?

Like many men, I suppose I didn't want to talk about or even watch other men discuss their grief.

My son's experience has been unique. Will never knew his father, yet he has experienced the grief of absence, growing up without a father.

Today, have your moments, live the traditions, and celebrate the new life you're creating in memory of a wonderful man!

Maybe Father's Day is more about them than it is about us. In some way, maybe through our living they continue to live.

Four years out, I can say that this journey is like a marathon. It still hurts. But by focusing on the next step it will eventually lead the finish line.

He lives with each breath I take and with each person who hears his story and learns of his legacy.

When we put forth emotional or physical energy, we need to take time for ourselves to relax and re-energize.

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Wherever you chose to spend this Memorial Day, you are in the right place and the thoughts of your TAPS family are with you.

It's for all Americans to remember we enjoy our many freedoms because of a brave few who dedicated their lives to this country.

Lighthouses have special meaning for me. They light the way for those encountering difficulties while traveling.

a grandparent's grief being unique as they suffer for both their grandchild as well as their child.

I could physically feel her presence there, and I know that those tickets were a gift from her.

Forgiveness isn't something I can see happening in one decision. There isn't just one thing I can do to fully forgive. It is simply a process.

Coming to a TAPS event alone can make us wonder how "we will fit in, how we will be treated, and what the event will be like".

When tragedy happens and deep thought is needed, I go to my favorite places, the beach or the garden. These spots help quiet my mind.

Jeff continues to be a part of our lives because as the song says, a love like that isn’t easily forgotten.

After his son died by suicide, Don Lipstein discovered TAPS. He was so impressed he became a TAPS Peer Mentor!

Volume 21, Issue 1

There is nothing that can prepare you for a sudden, traumatic death. But there are things you can do afterward to help yourself cope better.

Whether you are just starting out on your grief journey or are years past the date of the death, attending TAPS events may be just what you need this year.

Recuerda el amor, Celebra la vida. Comparte el viaje. Remember the love. Celebrate the life. Share the journey.

Your TAPS family is available to you each day of the year. Through many TAPS resources and events, we find nourishment for our souls that sustain us.

This article will guide you in ways to turn your concern for the grandparents grief into positive action.

A grandparent's loss packs a double whammy. There is grief for your grandchild who died and grief for your child's devastating loss.

Eating a variety of foods is essential to life. In other words, we need to eat to live. Food tips to consider as you navigate your own individual grief journey.

This Valentine's Day, my wish for you is love. Love your past. Love your story-the parts you hate and wished never happened, the parts you're still writing.

This beautiful mountain scene is one chosen while I listened to the uplifting songs which survivors sent in answer to last week's question.

It has been a cold winter here, but much to warm our hearts this past month as TAPS geared up for our 21st year of caring for the families of America’s fallen heroes.

I act on the dreams that I have the power to achieve. I am no longer the broken winged bird that cannot fly. Someday is today.

Surviving spouse, Sarah Greene shares how she learned the therapeutic effect taking vacations could have after losing her husband.

Survivor mom, Betsy Beard shares the "normal" part of the fog of grief and how to deal with it in a positive light so you can eventually move on.

Sibling survivor, Kat Stanley shares her touching story about how she continued her wedding plans even though her military brother had just died.

Kim Ruocco shares how a military widow copes with a spousal suicide and how to answer the questions that remain.

I know that the work is worth it in order to continue living the way I want to live, which is to simply be happy.

I am a widow. It's not who I am; it is what I am, and I am also a proud mother, a great sister, wonderful friend, and still the wife of the late Andre Booker.

Happiness is a choice. It isn't always easy to make that choice and certainly life is not always fair, but looking for contentment is easier than enduring a pity party.

Guilt. Regret. Sorrow. They all have their place. But so do joy, humor, and forgiveness.

It’s all about that attitude. While I cannot deny that I still have pity parties and days that I break down in tears, but every day I make the choice to be happy.