Cry to the End of Your Tears

Let's face it — crying can be uncomfortable. Not only is it hard to see others cry (and don't worry, at TAPS, you'll never cry alone), it's hard to put your emotions out there for others to see. Early in my grief, I remember crying in grocery stores, in line at the post office, in church. I cried in the shower. I cried every time I drove. And, most of the time, I chose not to care. Because I wasn't done  — I was not finished crying.

We can't always let ourselves grieve openly and tearfully, but when we can, it's worth it  — it's important to cry to the end of your tears. When you do, you'll know two things.

First, you'll know that you're finished with this round of tears. You'll help yourself understand that, even though it often feels as though you'll cry forever, there is an end. There is a unique reassurance that comes from emptying yourself completely and knowing that, for that moment, you have allowed yourself to grieve as much as you needed — and that there is a stopping place.

Second, something happens in the moments after a really good cry. Having released all that you are holding in, you've also made room for something new. I've never reached the true end of a good cry and not found a special peace — one that I can't explain or understand. It's as though crying to the end of our tears awakens us to the enormity of our unburdening. The pain is still there, but it feels different. There's a sacred calm — moments where the spiritual and emotional wrestling is over.

We will always miss our loved ones, and it may be that you can't imagine a world where you're finished crying. But there is something waiting for you at the end of every round of tears — of that I am certain.

From the pen of…

Emily Muñoz is the Director of TAPS Health and Wellness Initiatives and the surviving spouse of Army Capt. Gil Muñoz. Emily is living a personal campaign to be the person her late husband loved - and is using the Inner Warrior program to empower survivors to do the same.