Saturday Morning Message: Dreams Part 2

Good Morning,

This Sunday is Veterans Day, so in addition to the delightful answers that were sent in response to our question about dreams, I thought I would add a Comcast Newsmakers interview with Erin Jacobson who is on the TAPS staff and talks about the service of our organization. It will be broadcast as part of an hour-long Veterans Day broadcast. This way you get to see it first! You can view the video on our social media platforms to see the broadcast— Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Feel free to share them and enjoy this week’s dreams.

Hugs,
Carol Lane
Mother of Bryon

Question for Next Week’s Saturday Morning Message 

Since the next message will be sent the Saturday before Thanksgiving, I thought a good question for this week would be: What was your loved one's favorite food for the Thanksgiving holiday? How was it prepared? We look forward to reading your answers.

Would you like to share a question or read how other survivors respond to a topic or question you have? I would love to gather some thoughts for future Saturday Morning Messages. It can be helpful to read and hear how others cope. I encourage you to reply to the Saturday Morning Message by emailing online@taps.org. I directly receive all responses that are sent to this address. In order to have your reply included in the next week’s message, it is best to send your answers to me by Tuesday morning of the following week. Thank you to everyone responding this week and those who read this message.

♫ Song for the Week

From Christine, wife of Dennis: My favorite song is "Wind Beneath My Wings," sung by Bette Midler. The words, "Did you ever know that you're my hero and everything I would like to be?" remind me of my husband. 

She also sent this description of a dream: “When I was very early in my grief, I had a dream about my husband one night. He came to me and said that he was in heaven and he got to meet the king, Elvis Presley, and he met John Fitzgerald Kennedy. Then he told me I should buy the house I was looking at, because my kids needed a stable place to stay. I remember that dream like it was yesterday, only it has been 18 years. A few other times he visited me, but that first one was the one I remember the most.” 

You can send me favorite songs for this song of the week section at online@taps.org. I directly receive all responses that are sent to this address

Answers from Survivors

Responses from Survivors to last week’s question: Has a loved one come to you in a dream? How did it make you feel? What was remarkable about it?

From Caryn, mother of Nathan: My loved ones, especially my son, husband and brother, appear in my dreams quite often and each visit is unique. The very first time my son came to me in a dream, I was left with an incredible feeling of peace. It happened within the first year and was a welcome part of my grief process. It was so real, crisp and clear, it has stayed with me these past eight years as if it just happened. Even though there have been other visits, that first visit definitely meant the most.

From Samantha, fiancé of Preston: In the beginning, I dreamt of Preston a lot, but for whatever reason, I could never stop crying. I used to insist that he couldn’t be here. That he had died. He would always try to hug me and tell me everything’s OK, but I wouldn’t let him. Then one night, I dreamt that he called me. I could see him talking on the phone and it was like he was at work. I asked him why I hadn’t heard from him in so long, that I’ve been trying to call and see him. He smiled and laughed. He said, “What are you talking about? I am always with you.”

I’ve dreamt of him several times after that. Some are good, some aren’t. But I keep that particular dream close to my heart. It brings me peace and happiness to know that he’s always by my side. I’m very lucky that he’s come to me in dreams and I hope it never stops. 

From Bonnie Jo, mother of Andrew: Most of my dreams are quite interesting in scope; memories, various family members and even celebrities I saw on TV take over in my dreams of various characters that I sort of recognize, but for unknown reasons. So, it is funny to wake up and remember them and wonder why they were so vibrant. Do dreams have messages? Who knows? Sometimes I dream of my son, Andy, but for the most part it combines weird stories that make no sense or never happened when he and his twin were younger.

Who knows why we dream or what we dream. For me, it is kind of fun to never know what you will dream. I do not give them much of a thought except to remember them for the short time or sometimes longer when I wake up.

From Samira, mother of Andres: Andres, my son came through in my dream. It was very real. He said "Mom, I will go to play video games with my friends." I saw Andres hug me before he went and said, “Do not worry for me I will be fine. I love you."

From Debby, wife of Thomas: I had very vivid dream one night and it felt like Tom was laying on his side of the bed next to me, holding my hand and brushing my thumb, like he always did. He looked like he did when I first met him, with his red hair and healthy. He was smiling and told me that he knew I would be OK and that he loved me ...a whole bunch. Then he said both he and Harve were looking out for me. Harve was his best friend who had passed away in 2002. He told me that he was still around and to always remember that. Holding his hand felt SO real that when I woke up, I looked over to his side of the bed to see if he was actually there. I was a mixture of emotions, and tears, but I knew it was Tom.

From Cheryl, mother of Jack: Today I would like to share a dream I had. We had some kind of family gathering at my house. My oldest son, Abe, came walking down our hallway and Jack was just behind him. I looked and saw him and thought, “Wait, what is he doing here in my dream?” I spoke it. As the words came out of my mouth, I had a feeling, a knowledge that he was there, but could not be spoken to or hugged. He was like Abe’s shadow that day and stayed just behind him. When I woke up, I had this feeling of overwhelming peace!

From Courtney, sister of Chad: My little brother, Chad, went down in the plane crash over Mississippi with other members of his team July 10, 2017. I know the family struggled with whether we wanted to “identify” his body as we were given mixed messages about whether or not we could view his body. The military ultimately decided we would not be able to do so.

A day or two after we found this out, I had a dream. It is my goal to paint this picture for you so that you can understand Chad’s hand in helping me overcome the struggle of knowing how bad the accident was and how he looked afterward. Imagine a full body pod. Yes, like a pea pod.  Stainless steel. It is Chad. He is encased in this pod. Beautiful. Almost perfect. The satin lining of the case encompasses his body. Again, he is almost perfect. There are a few metal pieces – one at his left knee connecting the upper and lower parts of his leg and one on his right upper arm. It is as though he is “Robocop.” He has a few minor scratches, but it is Chad. His face is perfectly intact and beautiful. He is at peace. This was Chad telling me he is OK, and he will be OK. 

I’ve shared this dream with those who have struggled with the accident as well. It seemed Chad wanted me to share this message with them…to help us all. 

From Jay, mother of Dakota: In 2015 I lost my mother in a car accident, my daughter to a head trauma and my dad to lung cancer. It was such a terrible year. It has changed the way I live my life. My favorite dream was "The Picnic." In the dream, my sister and I found out that my daughter got a pass from heaven and was able to be home for the day. We decided to have a large family picnic. My sister and I were so excited. We kept crying while we were making the food for the picnic. In the kitchen with us also cooking were both my mom and dad. We all visited and worked hard. I recall all of us talking about how excited we were to see how Oakley (Dakota’s dog that is now my dog) was going to respond to seeing her. The end of the dream was of Dakota walking down the sidewalk toward the party. My sister hugged her. Then I got to hug her.... then I woke up. I woke up smiling, then cried, then started to laugh, because no one in the dream made a big deal about my parents also coming from heaven that day to help prep. It was just so natural that they were there to help welcome Dakota home.

From Winona, wife of Clifford: I only had that one, bold, real dream shortly after Cliff's death.  It was early morning and I still remember his presence by my bed like it was yesterday. Cliff stood there, grinning ear to ear. He said nothing, but he didn't have to. I can only describe it as peace shining from his face and his whole being. I knew in that moment he was OK! I have never had a visit from him again that was so real, but I have had many mini dreams of him.  That moment was all I needed to know that he was OK. Days are still rough at times. As time goes on (four years since my loss), I find that I can function well in my new normal. My strength comes from my faith in Jesus Christ and in helping others through their grief. 

If you would like to send a message thanking the participant in this week’s Saturday Morning Message, send it to me at online@taps.org and I will make sure your thoughts are passed along.