Saturday Morning Message: Women Who Have Had Positive Impacts On Our Grief Journey

Good Morning,

As we welcome in the fresh spring air around the country, we are reminded nature is blooming all around us. Our winter slumber is now behind us allowing for new beginnings and acknowledging the busyness spring and summer has to offer. So this may be a good time to pause and reflect on ways to reduce stress in our lives.

Question for Next Week’s Saturday Morning Message

How do you relieve stress in your daily life?

In recognition of April as National Stress Awareness month and in an effort to not only support ourselves but others as well, let us explore ways that you have reduced stress. Thank you for sharing with us what works for you. 

▶▶  We Welcome Your Reply

In order to have your reply considered for next week's edition of the Saturday Morning Message, please send your response by Tuesday morning, April 6, to online@taps.org.

Big hugs, 

Your Online Community Team

Responses from Survivors to last week's question

Is there a female from TAPS or elsewhere in your life that has provided support or been an inspiration to you along your grief journey?

From Lydia, mother of Carl: When my son Carl died, I was having dinner with friends. The notification team met me at my friends' house and I sat at the same table that had just been a family meal. I drove home and started notifying my friends and relations that my son had died, and one of those people was my friend Jan. 

You see, Jan had buried her son about four and a half years earlier. Her son and my youngest child were close. Jan responded to my message: "Oh Joy I am so very very sorry. That is just so awful. I want to be able to give you a huge hug and hold you tight. I can't believe it. I'm just heartbroken for you." 

Not only did she respond, she kept responding that whole horrible night when I could not sleep. We have stayed in touch over the past eighteen months, in part because we share a bond that not many mothers have, the death of a son.

Yes, our losses are different, but when people ask me about losing my son, I always tell them that my friend Jan was there for me that long, lonely night as I started the journey of being a mother without a son. 

From Thais, mother of Dwayne: This journey was not planned, nor did I ever think it could possibly happen, as it is very difficult to travel, manage, or handle alone.

I don't have a dear woman in my life for support, except Carol Lane. The Saturday Morning Message (SMM) and the Writers’ Circle have been a gift of support connecting me to others in a silent way. Carol is a woman that is steadfast and has been consistently supporting all of us. Thank you, Carol!

From Bill, father of William: My son, Will, passed in November 2012. I was lost. My daughter, Alyx, was away at college and I would often drive two hours to spend time with her or stay for the weekend. I did not want to be home in my empty house and would walk to my mom's house where I found great comfort in her presence. She loved the Red Sox and we watched almost every game. 

Another great supporter was a female co-worker with whom I started taking walks and riding to work with while my darkness began to fade. The more I talked about Will, the easier it was for me to remember the great times and the love we had and to focus on those good old days. I believe she was sent to me to show me the light. 

I thank God every day for having these women in my life along with many other women at TAPS. All have been helpful, professional and personable.

From Sandra, mother of Josh: I have a friend, Christine, who has been a true and genuine friend since we first met when our kids were little and who has stayed around since my precious son, Josh, died. When we get together, there is non-stop talking between us and party planning in school for our children. 

After Josh died, I went into isolation and pushed all of my friends away. Christine and her husband dropped in at my doorstep with lovely dishes during those dark days, even if I would not answer my phone. 

It has been four years now and I have grown in my grief. I am so fortunate to still have Christine as a friend, as she is a blessing to everyone who knows her.

▶▶  We Welcome Your Comments

If you would like to send a note commenting on one or all of the responses in this week’s Saturday Morning Message, send it to online@taps.org and your thoughts will be passed along to each contributor. You never know how your words may touch the heart of another.

Song for the Week
 

▶▶  Send Your Favorite Song, Poem or Recipe

Each week, we publish a song, poem, or recipe that has special meaning for our survivors. If you have a favorite that you would like to share with the Saturday Morning Message community, please send it to online@taps.org and include a note about why it is meaningful to you. These beautiful points of connection can offer hope and inspiration to others.