Reaching New Heights with TAPS

TAPS College Experience Prepares Surviving Children for the Next Chapter

Being a surviving TAPS child doesn’t just mean losing a parent; it means losing someone who was supposed to help guide you through life. 

When my father died when I was 6 years old, I thought I would miss him the most during big events, like graduation and birthdays. Instead, I’ve found that I notice my dad’s absence most in the smaller moments, like choosing classes for my junior year or trying to figure out how to apply to college. 

Dad was a wingman. He was Goose, not Maverick. When my dad died, the sailors who attended flight school with him in Pensacola told us that he was the one who helped everyone get through the heavy academic course load. Later, he became an expert decision engineer and could help anyone come to the right conclusion about anything. In his absence, I felt lost, especially as I faced some big decisions without my navigator. My dad was supposed to be here to help me. 

Going into high school, I immediately realized the sheer amount of things to worry about before college. Maintaining a good GPA, taking practice SATs, keeping up with extracurriculars, and figuring out my options for where to go all became a daunting, stressful mess. I wondered if my childhood dreams weren’t as realistic as I had previously hoped.

TAPS College Experience

Through TAPS, though, Mom and were able to attend the 2024 TAPS College Experience, organized by TAPS Education Support Services, which brought clarity to the swirling college questions. When we arrived at TAPS headquarters in Arlington, Virginia, this past June, we received a binder filled to the brim with the kind of content and research for which people pay thousands of dollars — including topics that I never even considered when thinking about college. 

What I loved the most about the TAPS College Experience was how the speakers presented topics, like FAFSA, college applications, and resumes, all within the context of being a surviving military child. Learning about all the records and documents I should be tracking; understanding the services available to military families; and considering federal, state, and private funding made me realize how complex it all was, especially without a second adult in my life.  

Unlike my classmates — the majority of whom have two parents who are alive — all of us high schoolers in that room at TAPS headquarters must navigate this college search process while grieving the loss of a parent. In an era of extreme change, knowing TAPS (and the Johnny Mac Soldiers Fund, which funded this program), could help fill in the gaps where our wingmen and women should be, has been so reassuring. 

Growing with TAPS

I felt the loss of my dad when I was 6 years old, and my grief was much different as a kindergartner than it is now. After my dad died, I was a quiet, shy little girl, who rarely spoke. Now, as I go from childhood to adulthood, I enter a new chapter, not just in my life, but also in my grief journey. The absence of my father is present in different ways than it was before. Instead of missing my dad when learning how to ride a bike, I miss him when learning how to drive. These moments of discovery and accomplishment are both happy and sad, and TAPS has helped me to embrace the emotions through every stage.  

In the 10 years I’ve been a part of the TAPS Family, I have grown to be outspoken, more confident, and always ready to share my experience with TAPS because it has given me a direction in life. Attending programs like the TAPS College Experience, Good Grief Camp, and many others has helped me to evolve as I continue to integrate my loss into my life. 

Being part of TAPS has empowered me to help be my own navigator. Last summer, I earned a fellowship and attended the Georgetown University Summer Academy for International Relations. I’m a leader in several groups at my school, including our Model U.N. team and Multimedia Club. I also spent a week at Georgetown’s Summer Medical Academy and am a member of my high school’s HOSA — Future Health Professionals chapter. For the last two years, I’ve participated in TAPS Gold Star Advocacy Week — reminding our elected officials of the sacrifices TAPS families have made and advocating for bills that support surviving families. These experiences have helped me discover a passion for public policy and advocacy and comfort in public speaking.  

The Next Chapter with TAPS

Over the summer, I spent three weeks learning to fly at the U.S. Air Force’s Aim High Flight Academy. My great-grandfather worked with Orville Wright during the early days of naval aviation in the 1930s. My 91-year-old grandmother tells the story of how her mother was made to fly in those early planes. (To illustrate to policymakers and the press that the aircraft was safe, the Navy brass would ask the wives of Navy officers to ride in the plane with the pilots.) I am hopeful that my dad and his grandfather will be looking down from heaven and lifting my wings as I now learn to fly, helping me to spread my wings and fly the nest, not just metaphorically, but also literally. 

These opportunities might not be possible if not for TAPS, which gives surviving children like me opportunities to thrive and reassurance that we are not alone. It enables me to focus more on my future and what I love to do, instead of feeling overwhelmed. TAPS brought me to this new stage of my life without fear of change. I feel ready and excited to apply for college! My dad may not be here to help, but my TAPS wingmen and women are beside me, aiding me through uncharted territory in my journeys through grief and life.

Christina Wilson is the surviving daughter of CAPT David Wilson, U.S. Navy Reserve Retired and a rising High School Junior.

Photos: TAPS Archives